9/10/09 Hooking Up

My Bodyguard with Buster

My Bodyguard with Buster

My Bodyguard has been having a little trouble meeting me at my site on time due to repeated flat tires on his bicycle or maybe because of a new romance brewing causing him to loose track of time. He met a woman in front of his new place across from a school. She told him she was a teacher but he is taking it slow until he knows she is “for real or not”.  She bought him a new pair of plaid boxers, which he unwrapped in front of me. He tells me that his old girlfriend is upset that he is breaking up with her and gave him some money (as a bribe?) for the first time in ten years-$25-which blew him away! His old girlfriend is living with “some old man” that is her husband even though they are not a couple.  She keeps taking my Bodyguard’s money even though she has her own cleaning job.  He is sick of giving her his money because he needs it for himself.  I keep telling him to save his money for the winter when we will no longer be able to paint.  The old girlfriend called him today and wants him to go to the hospital to visit her daughter.  He will go after work.  We both feel the old girlfriend is using her daughter’s illness to manipulate him into staying involved with her.

As far as hooking up to paint goes, I’ve been having trouble meeting my Bodyguard at the site as well because my truck keeps breaking down. My truck in now going on 300,000 miles and has become a money sieve. Things have been a little dysfunctional and I guess we just continue to try and go with the flow.  The paintings also have not been flowing as well as I wish.  Part of the problem is the anxiety of cold months approaching and the fact that one painting can take up to a month to do, especially if I am not in “flow mode”.  I feel pressured and therefore rigid.  I hate painting when I don’t have time to waste experimenting and sitting with a work to contemplate for a while. It is almost like eating a meal without tasting it. In a way, I prefer paintings that show a struggle and have an awkward quality to them.  Facile works sell better, though. I guess facility translates as confidence to a viewer.  For me art should be about taking risks and experimenting.  It is impossible for an artist to be confident about something he has never done before.   I’m not sure very many people share my aesthetics but if they did what fun would that be? The highlight of the day was that we saw a snake crawling out of the factory-maybe 28 inches, black with about five yellow vertical stripes.  I found a much larger, beefier snakeskin inside the factory that was the size of a rattler.  I left it there to paint into a painting, but someone took it.  I’m glad snakes are around-they eat bugs.

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